Shattered Pieces - A map of home by Randa Jarrar

 


Nidali’s struggles with her multiple identities 

 

While reading A Map of Home by Randa Jarrar, I felt that Nidali’s search for identity mirrored my own. Growing up as a refugee, I faced significant discrimination in Pakistan, even from members of my own community who were a few steps ahead of me in life. I was often labeled as uncivilized and illiterate. Because of this, Iived many years of my life, denying my identity and distancing myself from who I truly was. Yet, at the same time, I didn’t belong to that community either. Eventually, I found my place and reclaimed my origins, but my search for who I am is far from over. I constantly ask myself: Who am I?

 

Even though I have an identity now, I still do not have a home. As an Indigenous person, I am treated as an outsider in my country of origin, Afghanistan, and in Pakistan, I was considered a homeless Afghan refugee, leaving me stranded between two places. Nidali’s father said, “Our people carry the homeland in their souls.” But I don’t know where home is for me. I don’t know if I truly belong anywhere. Leaving Afghanistan and Pakistan behind, I now live in the U.S., trying to find my place here. but will I ever find a home? 

 

Nidali expressed it beautifully: “I was Egyptian and Palestinian. I was Greek and American.” Echoing her words, I, too, am split between my parents’ bloodlines. But certain things make me reluctant to claim my lineage fully. Sometimes, I wish I could erase parts of my ancestry, the people whose blood runs through my veins. And yet, I keep reminding myself that I cannot separate myself from them, their blood runs through my veins. I cannot erase them from my life. This realization only makes my identity struggle more complicated.

 

Another aspect of the book that resonated deeply with me was Nidali’s perspective on religion. What I was taught about religion often contradicted what I observed in practice. I saw people preach one thing but act in ways that went against their own religious beliefs, which made me question the entire concept of faith. As Nidali’s mother put it, religion is “something too big for everyone to agree on.” I often wonder: Is that really what it is? Or am I simply not a good follower because I have doubts? My religion is a huge part of who I am, yet I do not belong to it either. 


word count: 390 







 



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